DEAR GORDON

Dear Gordon,

Just thought I'd keep up our blossoming correspondence of the last few weeks. Thanks for letting me know about why you bailed out the banks, bailed out Peter Mandelson, and gloated over Alex Salmond.

I've had quite a busy week, I've got a sitcom script I'm quite pleased with that I've been tweaking, and I shall be sending it out to a few producers before Christmas. And I've had some encouraging comments about this blog which is amazing because I don't think anyone reads it!!!

How about you? I see your old mate Paul Dacre has been slagging off the Human Rights Act, does this mean you're going to cave in exactly the same as you did with the BBC, and instantly repeal it? I hope not. Anyway, send Paul my love and tell him the measles epidemic is just starting to slow down now, so keep up the good work at the Mail.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is because it's now five weeks (FIVE WEEKS!!!) since I contacted my local party. No one got back to me by phone or e-mail, but then joy of joys! I walked past the Labour Party office in Crouch End on Saturday morning and Steve was there! No I don't know who Steve is either, and he probably thought I was weird because I greeted him like a long lost friend.

But Steve ALSO took my e-mail and telephone number, and PROMISED me he'd do something about it. (Oh dear, mentioning Paul Dacre has turned me into a ranting tabloid journalist! Must calm down) Three days on and still not a peep from anyone local. Does the local Labour Party exist? Am I real, or am I dreaming? Are my plans to turn Labour into the kind of solvent mass movement the Democrats have become already dead in the water?

When you have a mo, let me know your thoughts. And if you know anyone who lives in Crouch End and votes Labour, let me know their address thanks

Love as ever
Dave