THE BANK OF ENGLAND, THE CBI, AND NOW ME!

Gordon Brown sent an e-mail to me! Obviously he's read my blog and has decided to consult me on what to do. I wonder if he sent this letter to anyone else. Anyway Gordon, I've printed my responses below...


Dear Dave

Hi Gordon – good to hear from you. You must be the other reader of this blog.

You will have seen from the news that I have carried out changes in the Government today. I wanted to contact you directly to let you know the thinking behind these changes.

Thanks. You don’t mind if I share this do you with the other blog reader?

We are living through the first truly global financial crisis that started in America, but where we must in Britain now do everything we can to ensure the stability of our economic system.

Rule 1 – stop blaming other people Gordon. Don’t you realise every time you try and shift the blame it gives your opponents an excuse to remind everyone who allowed America’s unfettered financial system to take root over here in the first place?

Serious people are needed for these serious times.

I disagree. I’m a comedian and comedy writer and I don’t think my contribution is any less valid for being flippant. (He said, flippantly.)

Margaret Beckett has come back into Government and I have also promoted some of our Party’s best new talent to help deal with the new challenges we face.

Nice move on climate change. Well done there, too easy to forget that there are far bigger problems the world faces than some bloke from Merill Lynch having to give up one of his hoiliday homes.

I want to reconstruct the way we govern to meet these challenges. Therefore I have created a new National Economic Council and put it on a day-to-day footing. It will meet for the first time on Monday.

Okay, but what’s the philosophy at the heart of it?

I have brought back Peter Mandelson from Brussels to lead our Business Department. Peter has been a European Commissioner of great distinction. He has unrivalled experience in international business issues and has built a reputation over these last few years as someone who can get things done.

And hand on heart there was no ulterior motive for bringing him back?

I believe the changes I have announced today are in the national interest. Our undivided attention must be on the security of millions of families and households who have been facing higher bills and now face the uncertainty caused by the financial failures in America and elsewhere.

Okay, that’s not unreasonable, still doesn’t sound like a philosophy yet. And stop blaming the Yanks!

Thank you for all that you do.

Even though I diss you man?

Gordon Brown